off the rack

You've given it some thought and have decided that you're ready. You look around your life-- at the holes and the threadbare spots, the places that could stand some accesorizing. You measure and jot down your color and size specifications. You start to imagine how much better things will be. You're ready to do this. You know exactly what you want. What you need.

So one bright Saturday morning (possibly in the spring) you grab your list and your wallet and head for the store. This is going to be great. You hum while you walk across the parking lot.

Once inside the store, your heart begins to beat fast and crazy. So many options everywhere. Bright colors and interesting textures. Beautiful fabrics. You can hardly contain yourself. You start to grab things off the racks, dropping and trampling some in the rush to not miss out on the perfect item. Just the thing you're looking for. You'll know what it is when you see it; you've got your list to guide your search.

As the morning goes on, however, your frustration grows. In your excitement you snatch things up, only to find that everything is a little off. Nothing is as great as what you had imagined for yourself. Some things are okay, but nothing is exactly what you had in mind. You toss things back on shelves, throw them carelessly over racks. You want exactly what you want; you won't settle for less.

At the end of the day you go home, empty-handed, to watch TV alone.


2006 SPRING COLLECTION

H: Ivy League educated, good at sports, faulty memory, attractive, incapable of emotional intimacy, can't cook

I: Color blind , strong work ethic, loves kids, obnoxious laugh, cries a lot, rich, bad teeth,

J: Hilarious, takes great vacations, excessive body hair, shares similar values, jealous, bad kisser

K: Well-respected, nice singing voice, estranged from family, beautiful, prone to depression, terrific gardner

L: Life of the party, messy, problem solver, insecure, gives good presents, high maintenance

M: Good thinker, snores, emotionally stable, smoker, poor dresser, socially awkward, generous, possessive