lessons

IF a homeless man tells you you're pretty, it's okay to smile as you walk down the block.

Don't have important conversations at coffee shops. Do you want Starbucks to be the backdrop for your entire life? Well, we were sitting there at one of the little round tables and a HEAR MUSIC NOW sampler was playing in the background and I was stirring raw sugar into my fair-trade coffee and next thing I know he's down on one knee...

There is such a fine line between saying something that you need to say--getting it off your chest--and wasting your breath. Learn the difference; pearls before swine and all that. Tell people what they mean to you, but know the value of reticence, the meaning of reciprocity and its place in the equaion.

Once I knew a man who was an artist, but who supported himself by teaching He was helping me (minorly) with a project and I mentioned that I greatly respected the work of a former colleague of his. He said Ah yes. He is a good man and was once a close friend. When we worked together he always loved a certain painting of mine but he could never afford to buy it. I will never forget this -- the sinking feeling as this man plummeted in my estimation. If you can give or do something for another human being that brings them joy or comfort or aid, shouldn't you? It's just canvas and paint, words and time, metal and earth. Moth and rust destroy afterall, and miser can never be cast in a more favorable light.

The notion that boys are more immature, or less mature if you prefer, then girls holds some water when you are 13, 14, 15. It's true. There are physiological differences, no denying it, that account for the discrepency in maturity levels and the ability to link action with consequence, behavior with outcome. Now we are 24, 25, 26, and older. Now, we need to stop pretending that this gap is anything other than willfulness, self-indulgence. We are the only barriers keeping ourselves from growing up and living happily ever after.