monday

Today I'm wondering: if the roller-coaster ride is inevitable and how preachers of mind over matter account for the heart? Why do I get zits in the exact same place, over and over again? Can you really see 23 miles, straight ahead, gaze leveled on the plains, until the curve of the Earth's surface steals the land away from your path? X marks the spot to stand on, right? Can I borrow your map?

Leaving for work in the dark this morning felt like a horrible defeat, 12 giant steps back from all the progress made with the passing of each day -- the tearing of each loop from my paper chain. Is it possible to say let's hurry and get this over & done with without wishing everyone else's life away in the process? She promised that it will all come out in the wash one day and my grandmother, her prayers stictched round me like a quilt, speaks of mountains moving & plans beyond imagining. Must April always live up to its reputation as the cruelest month? Will this be the year?